We have all been there and we’ve all seen her – she’s the perfect mom.
The mom who has it all together. The one who has the cute little basketball for a belly and that cute little basketball is draped by cute maternity clothes that fit perfectly (never having the bottom of her belly peaking out, even at nine months pregnant). She is put together in matching outfits and coiffed hair and of course her nails are done. She drives a perfectly clean car and lives in her perfectly clean house with her perfect husband. She is in fact beautiful as she floats around the grocery store and even her toddler seems to be in awe of his own mother, as he sits happily in the grocery cart reciting the alphabet and practicing counting while surrounded by all organic produce.
Everything is perfect for her.
In the mean time, I have gotten dressed by digging through the pile of clean clothes on the dining room table (not on the floor, because then the baby would get them and they would be dirty again), and hoping they they still don’t smell too offensive, fit over my muffin top, and match my lovely messy bun that I may or may not have gotten right after watching a Pinterest tutorial. I have shoved the trash aside in the car (though I throw it out before it starts to smell, we aren’t barn yard animals after all) to drive to the store and I am now throwing whatever I can into our cart as quickly as I can and hoping my toddler does not freak out so we can just get. out. the. door. Then, in the grocery store, I see her float by, and every last ounce of sanity leaves my being.
How is it possible for someone to have it all? She obviously works out. She takes the time to put herself and her children together. They appear to be perfectly behaved and she appears to be the perfect mom…and I do not. But having thought about this, the word appear may be the most appropriate way to describe what I have seen. The perfect mom may actually be going to her car, barely able to hold it together. Her house might not be as clean as you think, since she threw it all into that closest before she last had guests. She may not cook a perfectly gourmet meal every night. Truth is, maybe you just caught her in the fleeting moment where she was floating, and her kid wasn’t screaming, and before she threw the sugary cereal in her basket.
Truth is, we are all in the same boat. We are the same, but different. The perfect mom may be a great cook or be an organized housekeeper (or know how to hire a great one!) Just because one mom excels in one thing, doesn’t mean that she isn’t terrible at something that you absolutely ROCK at. No one is able to do it all, without help. If we are able to put aside the differences and stop comparing, we could lean on each other for support and help others with our strengths. Our kids would benefit and we would benefit. Let’s stop comparing- and start appreciating each other. Let’s see what a difference we can make in our own little worlds.
However, on the rare days that *you* are the perfect mom floating through your day and your house is clean and you look all cute and your kids are behaving? Go you!! We should all celebrate the floating moments of other moms…and our own!
Beth Dickerson, the author of this post, is one of our Great Expectations Doulas. She is the perfect mom in so many ways as she is funny, patient and encouraging. She is also the perfect doula for many couples for some of the same reasons. If you would like to hire Beth, contact us and we will hook you up!